Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like throwing myself out of the window beside my seat in my cozy office. It’s not that there is anything fundamentally wrong with me, or that I’ve turned crazy. It’s just that I am fed up of all the machines surrounding me. I am also fed up of money centered life (astonishingly in a year). I see money as a tool to bring comfort and to some extent joy in our lives but here am I, finding myself in a world where our lives have become mere tools to bring in more and more money and earn without ever thinking, why?

My life asks for some meaning, some destination that could bring a sense of achievement, a sense of pride and fulfillment. A close circle of family and friends continuously ask me to get married but they might not know that I am passing through an identity and emotional turbulence and an unstable person has nothing to offer to anyone else. If I am meaningless without a wife, I’ll continue to be so with one. The only possible difference it could bring is a load of responsibility and under the pressure of which I might do the duties, fulfill the commitments but essentially I would continue to be unhappy.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about happiness, what factors count towards it and how can we standardize the process to be happy. After every article I tried using the applicable advices but I ended up being unhappier by trying to be someone else, so I stopped this practice altogether. I later realized it was for good because happiness that comes after an external stimulus is always temporary. A long lasting happiness is a result of some change or feeling that is deeply rooted. A happiness that worldly sorrows cannot deter and apparent losses cannot take away from us. So my quest for eternal happiness continues.